Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
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Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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