Are we in a gay sports bar?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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