Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
