guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
