How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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