I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
