Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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