sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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