I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
