yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
