My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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