Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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