I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
