You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize