I'm gonna have a badass scar
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
