APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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