i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
