i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
