get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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