i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
