She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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