talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well I just put wine in my tea
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
