uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize