i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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