Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
