he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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