Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
