just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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