His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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