He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
