Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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