butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
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i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
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I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life