I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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