my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
