had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
