i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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