What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
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we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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