dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I booty called her while she was in labor.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
