I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
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I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
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Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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