really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
