This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
