Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
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I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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