I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I can tuck mytits in my pants
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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