he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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