He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
