meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
