So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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