$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
