That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
