I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
