Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it's like heaven, but drunker
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
