She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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