I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You're a waste of cheezeits
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
