have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
