it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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